To investigate or not to investigate, that is the question:
Whether 'Tis nobler in the mind to suffer the Mockery and Jestering of Mystery,
Or to take Watson against a Sea of Crime,
And by Wits end it: to investigate, to end crime
No more; and by an investigation, to say we end
The crime and the thousand violations
That crime is father to? 'Tis a solution
Justly to be wished. To investigate to end crime,
To investigate, perchance to die; Ay, there's the rub,
For in that pursuit of justice, what obscenities may come,
When mystery is upon us,
Must solve it. There's the risk
That makes Excitement of this life:
For who bears the Wits and keen Mind,
Sherlock Holmes, the Scotland Yard must prevail.
The ache of despised Actions, cured by Watson.
The obscenities must end,
Holmes and Watson merit of the solved Mysteries,
Scotland Yard will prevail,
Alongside those of 221B Baker Street. Who would the Queen ask,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
Knowing that the dread of an unsolved Mystery,
The undiscovered Country, from whose womb
Crime springs, Puzzles the Police,
And makes us rather barricade those windows we have,
Than invite others that we know of to tea.
Thus Circumstance does make Heroes of us, I and Watson
And thus the Native people of England
Is safe at night, with the pale cast of Thought
That Holmes and Watson are solving mysteries,
With their regard for England's safety,
And kick the butt of Crime. Hard now,
The butt of Crime. Scum, in thy arse!
Holmes and Watson, by England be remembered!